Shannon Paul, Social Media Maven, Named new Head Coach of Detroit Lions

shannon-paulIn a startling move that has taken the blogsphere by storm, Shannon Paul, Chief Social Media Goddess of the Detroit Red Wings, has just been named head coach of the floundering Detroit Lions football franchise.

William Clay Ford, owner of the team and descendant of iconic Henry Ford, decided on Ms. Paul after witnessing the spectacular success of Scott Monty, recently-appointed social media guru of Ford Motor Company.

“Scott single-handedly kept us from from bankruptcy, from taking the poison pill of federal bailout money; and he also crowd-designed all of our new hybird vehicles right from his blog-thingie. He Twitterized us out of a death spiral by creative use of these new-fangled socialized media gadgets. I figured if one social medium expert could turn around Ford, surely another could take on the greater challenge of making the Lions competitive.”

It was also revealed that Ms. Paul was found after being “friended” on Facebook by unnamed Lions front-office staff, who also vetted her qualifications using Google and StumbleUpon.

Ms. Paul wasted no time assembling a top-notch support staff, including hiring Geoff Livingston, renowned for offensive prowess, and luring away “Big” Jim Connolly as head of trackbacks. Gary Vaynerchuk will be leaving the Wine Library to be Chief Sideline Libation Engineer, as part of his training for eventually taking over the NY Jets. Connie Reece has agreed to come on board as chief archivist for the Lions Championship Museum, currently housed in a corner of Ken Burbary‘s closet. She also began immediate negotiations with fans and the UAW, both groups of which had threatened a permanent boycott of the Lions.

Local Detroit blogger Karen Swim was initially non-commital about the news, having been bypassed in favor of her cross-town rival Ms. Paul, until being unexpectedly named head coach of the Detroit Pistons. “My goodness!” said Ms. Swim, “I figured I might have a shot at the Tigers, but the Pistons have actually won a few things! That’s a slam dunk FTW on you, Paul Shannon!”

“What I’m really looking forward to is the upcoming blogger draft,” exclaimed Ms. Paul. “We’re going for 140 top characters! I’ve had my eye on some serious talent, like “PR” Sarah Evans for Eighthback,  Jason Falls for Tight End or Wide Receiver (depends on Twit2fit progress off-season), and Barefoot Exec for Punter. Unfortunately, it looks like we’re losing Steve Olenski to the Colts, who traded Peyton Manning and two FriendFeed accounts to be named later to get him.”

Reaction around the NFL was mixed. Apparently, Chris Brogan has been approached by the startup Boston Pirates franchise to serve as their new head of operations, but he replied with 15 Reasons Never to Hire a Freshly-Shorn Blogger. The New York Jets are in secret discussions with 5-year veteran blogger Paul Chaney, who is robo-twittering negotiation progress from Brett Favre’s living room.

Meanwhile, Guy Kawasaki, who first broke the news on Truemors, capitalized on the trend by launching SocMedCoaches.Alltop.com, a news item promptly re-tweeted by 21,544 of his devoted disciples.

The ROI of hiring social media mavens for positions of leadership with sports teams is yet unproven, as is the ROI for just about anything social media related. Your mileage may vary. However, we have it on good authority that those with the most followers are the most important and authoritative, and so should provide the best bang-for-the-blog when making hiring decisions.

Oh, and I have to mention Ann Handley, of course. Just because…

Happy 2009 to all!

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About Steve Woodruff
Steve Woodruff is a blogger, a Connection Agent, and a consultant in the pharma/healthcare industry. He specializes in helping people and companies make mutually beneficial connections.

10 Responses to Shannon Paul, Social Media Maven, Named new Head Coach of Detroit Lions

  1. Bryan says:

    What should I say about ti……I mean what should I even say about the Lions.. they should feel ashamed of themselves what they did???/they actually ruined the expectation of their fans….now they’ve lost everything .. every thing….. im sure nobody will like you people to be on the NFL ground…..hopeless team….

  2. This is going to cost Shannon a lot of money. I had my heart set on joining the Yankees. To give up the pinstripes AND change sports. Geez. I mean Deion and Bo Jackson were fools to do that. Yeah, A LOT OF MONEY.

  3. Ann Handley says:

    Steve — I love the title of Chris’s blog post, “15 Reasons to…” LOL!

    I hope 2009 holds more of these shenanigans….(Shanno-igans?)

    p.s. And yes. You do. Just because….

  4. davebenjamin says:

    What a great way to start the New Year. As for Shannon coaching the Lions, I only have one bit of advice. Make sure Gary Vaynerchuk brings LOTS of wine. You’re going to need it.

    Oh, and don’t waste the 1st pick on a QB.

  5. Shannon Paul says:

    Right now I really wouldn’t mind having a Chief Sideline Libation Engineer as I head down to the game. Where IS Gary? Also, I’m with Ann on the “15 Reasons to Never Hire a Freshly Shorn Blogger” title – LOL indeed. Oh, and Geoff, it might cost a little less if you don’t get with the personal branding program… I’m just sayin’. ;P

  6. Paul Chaney says:

    Considering Brett and I hail from the same state I’m happy to take on the job as his concierge (or coach, whichever). With Gary on the sidelines I guess it won’t be Gatorade the players consume to replace electrolytes.

    Great post Steve. For all of us who take this blogging, twittering, socmed stuff way too seriously, it’s a nice bit of levity to start the new year.

  7. Scott Monty says:

    I’ve gotta get me one of those blog-thingies. May come in handy.

    Nice job on this, Steve. If I had any pull with WCF Sr., I’d make my views known about the (cough) Lions.

  8. Ken Burbary says:

    The closet is pretty bare!!! My hometown Lions have only won a single playoff game (1991 vs the Cowboys) since winning the league championship way back in 1957. It’s been torture watching the current franchise. This new cast of characters can surely do better than their predecessors.

    I’m lobbying William Clay Ford Sr. to give me the General Manager position. After all, we went winless this season. Things can only go up from here (I hope…)!

    Amusing post Steve!

  9. Karen Swim says:

    ROFL! Steve this is great! I get my dream job with the Pistons, what a great way to start 2009! I love Shannon dearly but I got the better job! :-)

  10. Pingback: Five in the Morning | Words For Hire

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