Why I Love Being an Introvert
April 12, 2013 19 Comments
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I didn’t always enjoy the fact that my wiring is definitely on the introvert side of the fence. Since our culture tends to value extrovert tendencies and behaviors, we who are quieter, who are more inclined to think before speaking, and who are energized more by alone time than by crowds can often feel marginalized or inferior.
Over time, I’ve shaken free of that perspective. I was born with this wiring, and though I’ve become much more outgoing and confident with people (some people now mistake me for an extrovert), I remain a thorough-going introvert.
And I love it. Yeah, I said it. I love being an introvert.
In a world filled with chatty and superficial crowds exchanging pleasantries and (often) little else of substance, I can sit down with people one-on-one or in intimate groups and really dive deep. To that place where minds and lives are changed. I love that.
While others desperately seek their inner fuel by surrounding themselves with others in social settings, I can enjoy alone time to think. In fact, I crave it – I’m energized by a combination of solitude and people time. And in those quieter times of reflection, insights arrive. I love that.
My inward-focused mind is always seeking to analyze and make sense of the world; and often, can be harnessed to help others make sense of their world. I love that.
I may not be the most glib person in a crowd – certainly not the life of the party – but I can write, and make presentations, and reach many more people that way, than pretending to be chatty Charlie. I love that, too.
In a world that often feels a compulsion to consume and consume and consume, introverts take time to digest. Life, for us, is not an endless carousel of coming-from-the-outside sensory stimulation. We regularly gain our strength from within – we’re more self-contained. And I love that.
No, the opposite of being extroverted is not being neurotic, as this poorly-conceived article implies. Extroverts have gifts and abilities and strengths. Introverts have gifts and abilities and strengths. And introverts have a lot to contribute to the world.
I love being an introvert. If you share that wiring, there’s no cause for shame or a sense of inferiority – we have our fit in this world, too; and it’s a rich place. Embrace who you are. Manage it. And make waves in your own way!
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I loved reading this post. Thanks very kindly for sharing it!
You’re welcome!
Thank you for this lovely post Steve.
You’re welcome – we introverts have to stick together, right?
I hadn’t thought of it that way, but on reflection I think at the moment that that is so. Sticking together to support other introverts in an extroverted world, and at the same time build a growing voice for recognition and acceptance.
Great statement. Can’t agree with you more.
I love being completely alone, miles from anyone else. Born this way – very happy being this way
I’m with you on that! My dream is to eventually move back to the Texas hill country. Don’t need a big house, a tent will do, ha. The primary goal is a gorgeous view and no people around for acres. I could live the rest of my life never seeing another soul and be perfectly happy.
We must be Gypsy’s at heart 🙂
I think so too! It’s hard navigating this world as a gypsy, having to play the game and conform. I remember a book I read in like 3rd grade called “The Nonconformist”. I could totally relate even at the tender age of what, 6?! Ideally I’d like to have enough money to be free of all that everyone else holds dear. I hate being forced to be around other people I would otherwise have zero to do with, because I have to work for a living. Money buys freedom, that’s all I ask for. 😉
I was relieved to find out that the reason I always felt out of place, like a misfit, who preferred alone time any day over socializing, was simply the fact that I am an introvert. I’ve been accused over the years of being shy, or living in a dream world. But, those things were said to me with a derogatory tone, especially the living in a dream world comment, as if I’m in Lala Land. Far from it! I’m thrilled that there is so much info out there now about introverts, it totally validates who we are and that we weren’t actually dropped off on this planet by mistake after all, although sometimes I still wonder about that! Going through life is still a challenge, every single day, at work specifically. I’m surrounded by the ones who must be rattling their mouths constantly about insignificant crap, the ones who hijack the conversation before you say one sentence of your own. The obnoxious, loud ones that grind my nerves. Never do I appreciate the solitude more than when I get home and close the door behind me.
I think our biggest struggle right now, Marianne, is simple awareness and acceptance. Being introverted is normal, fine, OK, and even advantageous. We don’t need pity or a lecture – just give us some space and respect!
Even at age 56, I’m still misunderstood by many. I know this. Introverts know more than we let on though. We’re noticing things other miss! I can go for the longest time without saying something to anyone (unless I have to) and when I finally do reveal something, people are amazed! That’s because I put a lot of thought into everything I do, or before I say something; not that I can’t think on the spot, of course (we) can! I’m just surprised at how surprised others are by me, ha, if that makes any sense. And most of what comes out of my mouth, or my actions are simply…common sense. Sometimes I’m afraid to suggest something because surely, SURELY someone else has considered it. I reluctantly say it anyway and people are like “wow…what a great idea, why didn’t I think of that!” I don’t mean this in an arrogant or egotistical way AT ALL, it’s just been my experience over the years. I’m also super independent and rarely, if ever, ask for assistance. I’m annoyed by those who are the opposite. I’m a huge target for sucking those kind of people in and it’s a constant struggle to handle this sort of thing. I call them the life suckers, the ones who want to use and abuse our kindness and independence. It’s like I have nice person etched into my forehead.
Steve, thank you for this. Thanks for reading my ramblings, thanks for your post. Obviously I can totally relate. Introverts unite!!! Separately. 😉
Even when I share an introvert blog or comment, like yours Steve, on my Facebook page, I get zero comments. I think people still can’t wrap their heads around the fact that there is nothing “wrong” with us. It’s been a stigma for SO long. That’s what I think anyway. Einstein was an introvert, what could possibly be wrong about that?
Your introvert friends are reading and enjoying, but many choose to keep their thought personal. You should know that, right?
Ha, that makes sense. Perhaps they’d rather not reveal themselves. Well, that’s too bad actually. But, that’s okay too. I don’t know when I got so brave about letting people know I’m an introvert. I mean, I don’t shout it off the balcony, but I’ll share things about it when it seems appropriate.
All those introverts are uniting – separately and silently – in their agreement! ;>}
I can’t find anywhere remote enough and still be habitable 🙂
EG not Antarctica or the Simpson desert.
I love it when I relate to an entire post. This was perfect 🙂
Maybe, for fair balance, I should write a post someday on the potential downsides of being an introvert. Because, truth be told, there are some. One of them being analysis paralysis…