Facebook’s Secret Weapon Unveiled – Ann Handley!

As the excitement is building today about Facebook’s promise to (once again…) transform social networking with a slew of new and sparkly features, the Connection Agent has gone under the interface layer to discover the real secret lurking beneath the impending drama.

It’s Ann Handley.

Facebook has secretly acquired Marketing Profs figurehead and Content Rules co-author Ann Handley, and embedded her within the FB platform. It is the first time a human being has been coded into a social network, though there have been persistent rumors that Twitter’s middleware may contain DNA fragments from Peter Shankman.

Starting on Friday, the status update box on Facebook will now be the iconic question, WWAHD? (What Would Ann Handley Do?). Users are expected to consider carefully how Ann might update, and then type their status accordingly, leading to a uniformly higher-quality of on-line content.

Facebook will also incorporate a context-aware ANNvatar, which will pop up and give advice about what you are reading and writing, delivering critiques as to style, grammar, and re-purposable content. The ANNvatar will speak in Ann’s voice, pulling words and phrases from the Content Rules book, which will now be the official Facebook Help Menu. Users will be able to choose AH levels, from mild snark all the way up to to ultra-Boston-style-insulting.

It is rumored that there will be a C.C. Chapman FB upgrade in the future “for the guys” but this is not yet confirmed. There is also speculation that each FB status will be auto-converted into a QR-code for people who prefer to use a smartphone for each and every form of communication.

The new Ann Handley FB version will be Prodigy and MS-DOS compatible because, after all, that’s what Ann Handley would do.


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Twitter: @swoodruff | @ConnectionAgent

About Steve Woodruff
Steve Woodruff is a blogger, a Connection Agent, and a consultant in the pharma/healthcare industry. He specializes in helping people and companies make mutually beneficial connections.

12 Responses to Facebook’s Secret Weapon Unveiled – Ann Handley!

  1. Clearly, I’m holding out for the C.C. Chapman upgrade…

  2. Seriously? WOW! This reminds me of MsDewey. Wow… I really don’t know what to say. Thanks for the post!

  3. I will always support Ann, fellow Simmons grad! 🙂

  4. Dude, I think you may have way underestimated the appeal that the ANNvatar has for men. I’d wager that CC Chapman won’t even come close….

  5. Well, anything with Ann would be an improvement, so why not!? I love that picture where she looks like she just might be slightly annoyed.

  6. Ha Alli and I are on the same page Brilliant. Be well my friend. Hope the day in NYC goes well. I was hoping to make the Tweetup but just wont’ work

  7. Pingback: Leading Virtually Really « Connection Agent

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