Mystic Speaks

I was quite surprised to discover this week that my dog, Mystic, is actually considered to be quite the successful marketer in her circle of influence. In fact, she has quite a social network, and, as I discovered when I sat down to interview her (between doggie treats and luxurious naps), dogs can teach us a lot about influence and branding.

Me: Mystic, you seem to be pretty popular in the neighborhood after one year. What would you say is the essence of your Personal Brand?

Mystic: Well, for me it’s all about what we call canine benchmarking. It was clear in our walks around town that best practices in the area of impression management meant a head held high, a glossy coat, and turn-key approach to adding value by sniffing backsides. The rest just takes care of itself.

Me: Did you approach this challenge by trying to define your own niche, or did you seek synergistic partnerships with other leading canines?

Mystic: I took a both-and approach. Obviously, when you’re a startup, you’ve got to achieve some sort of critical mass, so I made sure to relieve myself in the sight of some of the bark-leaders in the neighborhood. Eventually, once I had some best-of-breed backers, I had to recontextualize in order to unleash my own brand positioning. Which usually involves lying on my side and drooling.

Me: What metrics do you use to ensure that your brand is top-of-mind, and not mired in the long tail?

Mystic: Just remember two words. No, not “Down, Girl!” Trend Analysis. All the canines in this vertical maximize insights from these data points.

Me: Final question: I’ve been told that you – and perhaps some other influencers in your sub-group – roll around in your own…you know, doo-doo. What’s up with that?

Mystic: Every dog quickly learns about leveraging recurring assets. When the input/output ratio is unbalanced in the supply chain, you have to morph past deliverables into current value-added resources.

Me: In other words, you just harness back-end action items to produce a fresh brand presentation.

Mystic: Exactly. Can I go out and pee now??


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Steve Woodruff is a blogger, a Connection Agent, and a consultant in the pharma/healthcare industry. He specializes in helping people and companies make mutually beneficial connections.

14 Responses to Mystic Speaks

  1. Steve. One word.

    Woof! 🙂


  2. Brilliant. Mystic should speak at SxSW. Seriously. You could be the interpreter. 😀

  3. Gavin Heaton says:

    Mystic trumps Mr Ed. Nice. Looking forward to Mystic’s YouTube channel 😉

  4. Ann Handley says:

    Hilarious. I love her response about personal branding strategies… taking a “both-and” approach. Risky but interesting.

  5. Cam Beck says:


  6. Dogs totally use jargon all the time. I know mine do!
    Very Funny!

  7. Great way to start the day – meeting Mystic and her approach to personal branding! I’ll have to check with my Tobey to see if he concurs and has additional input!

  8. My cat would like to speak with Mystic about possible employment…as management, of course.

  9. Tom Martin says:

    This is great!!! Love it.

  10. So…when is Mystic getting a twitter account? Lol…loved this, very clever interpretation of the dog world. Was really fun to read 🙂

  11. Kirsten, Mystic did actually have a Twitter account for a while. But she couldn’t keep it up – and she was getting spammed by Nigerian pit bulls!

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