Five in the Morning 010709

Customers. Where would we be without customers? Talk is cheap, so let’s invest a little time thinking about the people that really count…

That West Coast Diva of Customer Stuff, Becky Carroll, unveils her Top 3 picks for Customer Rock Stars of 2008. Check out these, plus the runners-up, listed on Becky’s Customers Rock! blog.

Meanwhile, back East, Doug Meacham on his NextUp blog (focusing on customer experience) does a riff on Guitar (Hero) Marketing. On that post, you will find my new favorite term. If you’re not following Doug on Twitter (@dougmeacham), you should, and if you miss the opportunity to have him chauffeur you all over Richmond with a belly full of BBQ ribs on your next trip to that fair city – well, you ain’t lived. Bring napkins.

Introducing Casey Hibbard’s book on customer case studies. Stories that Sell.

David Polinchock gets a “Five” mention 2 days in a row. I think that’s a first. But he deserves it, for this thoughtful post on how customer experience interacts with declines in retail stores.  “As we wrote in a piece for the Retail Advertising Conference last year, our walk through the luxury domain of the upper East Side showed that many of the stores up there were just ‘soulless, glorified, two-dimensional web sites; products are presented passively to consumers with no retail-as-theater.’ Who wants to spend time — and money — in a retail environment like that?”

Frank Martin over at Marketing Magic has Three Things you can do Right Now to Jump-start your Marketing. Well, there’s more than three, actually – Frank cheats by using sub-points! But he gets a pass, since this is a good reminder of the basics of taking care of ALL your customers.

Hey, a late entry. David “The Hat” Armano just posted this little blurb about a well-designed blog effort by a bank, making it easy for user interaction. I’m kinda real picky about on-line user design, and it’s nice to see a well-executed setup like this. And while we’re going late entries, we may as well add Drew McLellan‘s just-published post on MarketingProfs Daily Fix, about Dancing with the One who Brought You (talk to your customers!)

And, just for fun, a quick video laugh from Dave Taylor over at Brandgym. This is the top-rated YouTube video in the UK (and in the Top 5 globally) – who’da thunk it??

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Five in the Morning 121508

5-lit-upSocial Media Predictions 2009 – a bunch of them from top bloggers, all consolidated in one free download! Cool. Thanks for the link, Joe Jaffe!

Writer’s Toolbox – 35 best tools for writing online. You’ll be familiar with a bunch in the top half of the list, but the second half has some less familiar resources.

Brands don’t belong on Twitter! Brands absolutely do belong on Twitter! Point – counterpoint, from the Mashable blog. What do you think?

ROI and Social Media. Here’s an interesting take, from the training world – a 4-point framework for measurement, based on Kirkpatrick (I’ve been involved in the training industry for years, so this is an interesting spin). From Mel Aclaro. Plus, is it easier to measure ROI from social media as opposed to traditional media? Thought-provoking post from Jacob Morgan.

Chris Brogan addresses the whole blow-up over sponsored advertising on a blog post. Really, folks, take a deep breath. The guy practices full disclosure, he experiments with new methods for advancing on-line business – what’s the problem here? Are we chasing some mythical ideal of the pure Oracle (sorry, Larry Ellison – not your Oracle) that will speak to us from on high with no taint of personal bias, no worldly interests, no brushes with the horrible and impure practice of commerce? If that’s what you’re looking for, then you’re after some Kool-Aid that you’re not going to find anywhere in the blogosphere – or on planet Earth, for that matter. Social media (or any type of media outlet) is not populated with angelic beings practicing “pure” journalism, “pure” conversation, or “pure” anything else. I have enough to keep busy striving toward some level of personal purity of heart, let alone imposing unrealistic expectations of “purity” on other bloggers. Sheesh…!

PLUS – an example of clear communications (under 140 characters!) from a 7-year old.

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Five in the Morning 121108

John Moore (Brand Autopsy) begins a series sharing thoughts from Inside Drucker’s Brain (IDB Project). Intro here, first post here.

27 Practical Ideas that will Transform Every Organization. Distilled wisdom from Tom Peters.

The Catchup Lady breaks up with UmbrellaToday.com. Why? Well, you just gotta deliver the goods…

Kirsten Wright shares the ABCs of creativity. Well, 25 of them. Can anyone help her with “x”?

Blogger’s Choice winners for Open Web Awards. Actually, that post isn’t terribly interesting, now that I look at it. So why not visit Olivier Blanchard‘s rant on business cards?

PLUS – Are these folks just amazingly creative, or do they simply have too much time on their hands? Either way, it’s cute, and worth 1 minute and 20 seconds of your time! And while we’re at strange on-line holiday celebrations, have some fun Destroying a Fruitcake.

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Five in the Morning 121008

Lists, lists, lists. It’s that time of year – lots of Top 10s. Louis Gray has a nice summary of Top 2008 web services (and their prognosis for 2009). Meanwhile, Rick Turoczy at ReadWriteWeb sums up the Top 10 Consumer web apps of 2008 (quite diff list from Louis’). And then, of course, there’s Time.com‘s Top 10 Everything of 2008. Plan on spending some time here…

Should bloggers/social media types self-promote? Mack Collier started up this discussion. I also chimed in, as did Lisa Hoffmann. Read the posts and the comments – what do you think?

Matt Dickman with some thoughts on HR in the age of Social Media.

Not Everyone likes Coffee. Consider your audience and their tastes as you serve “your stuff” up. Good thoughts from Jon Swanson over at Levite Chronicles. (Jon – strong! Cream and a little sugar…).

The Only Important Thing is….what??? You’ll have to let Doug Meacham tell you!

PLUS – Sarah sold me on Opera – sorta. How one voice can bring you into a new genre. AND – this Spouse 2.0 concept is just bizarre. Really. Don’t do it!

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Five in the Morning 120908

Negative PR in advertising travels fast! Just ask Dr. Pepper (from USA Today – hat tip to @prsarahevans)

Will MLM kill Twitter? What do you think so? I doubt it, but some interesting points made nonetheless. From Karl Long.

Fun - Superlist of what NOT to do in Social Media. Courtesy of Robin Broitman at IIG. On the flip side, Lee Odden shares 26 tips on being Social Media Smart.

Thank you very much for the link, Mike Sansone. Now THIS is how to search for that perfect image in Flickr!!!

How do you compare with other Twitter users? Jeremiah Owyang brings out some very interesting stats from HP Lab’s research on Twitter use.

BONUS – As a rule I don’t watch long videos on the web, in particular not 15-minute ones. Yet, very late one night, when unable to fall back asleep, I stumbled across this one on Cheryl Smith‘s site, and it captured my attention. The message continues to resonate in my mind and heart. It may seem hokey the first few minutes, but stick with it. You may need, as I did, a reminder about the importance of Validation.

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Five in the Morning 120508

The Brand Chef is a Jerk! Hey, I didn’t say it, Andrew Clark did – and he’s the Brand Chef! Making the best of an awkward networking reach-out…

When 2 companies merge that have disparate brands, does it make sense to smoosh them into one? Or is there a middle ground, preserving 2 brands within a company? The NameWire guys are wondering about Qantas and British Airways. My take – keep the two identities, but create a subtle “flag” identity that overarches both (“part of the Imperialistic Empire Airline Group…”)

Straight from the mind of Armano (sounds like an ad for and Italian suit designer, I know…). The Paradox of Please. Take 45 seconds and absorb. Brilliant.

As promised, CB Whittemore has launched a series on Bridging the Old and the New with Social Media. First up: Mack Collier. Having met both of these individuals, I wholeheartedly recommend that you follow them on their blogs and via Twitter. Good people.

Lead Yourself. Valeria Maltoni on Dr. Srikumar Rao, with video included. And you know what I said above about CB and Mack? Same for Valeria. Good people.

The guys from Heath (Chip and Dan) take on sloganeering in Fast Company. Are your taglines and slogans made to stick, or made to stink??

Ever wonder if you really belong in your role? My personal confession: I am not a Salesman.

OK, time for a little Friday fun. Happy skies, part 1, part 2Really bad timingTemplar University (great for enhancing your personal brand!)

Don’t forget to Be Happy today (look at the collateral effects!)

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Five in the Morning 120408

If you Twitter, you’re probably wondering about some of the potentially “corrupting” trends. Here, Paul Chaney opens up a discussion about Twitter automation – as you’ll see in the comments, I am not in entire agreement. What do you think?? (btw, if you’re not following Paul, you should be: @pchaney)

Want to do free press releases? Dana Willhoit has the list of sites that do just that for you!

Tom Peters recommends two books on Design.

Robert Lesser talks us through Lead Generation using Web 2.0 approaches. From MarketingProfs Daily Fix blog.

Demogirl – now this is a cool service, pointed out by Greg Verdino. Quick, distilled “how-to” screencasts. Good, basic, useful implementation.

Extras – today only! Click before midnight and get 2 links for the price of 1!!!

Say – what does Steve Woodruff/@swoodruff/StickyFigure actually sound like? Find out! Four bloggers share in the latest AOC2 podcast.Thanks to Jay Ehret, @themarketingguy!

Hot off the blog presses – 40 Ways to Deliver Killer Blog Content. From Chris Brogan. Here’s my #41 – Aggregate Information that People Want.

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Five in the Morning 120308

Me Me Me Me Me Me Me. Maybe it should be called Social Usdia. Read a good one by Gennefer Snowfield. Then have a chuckle with Ike Pigott (who is one of my favorite tweeters of keen insight mixed with humor).

Yet another top marketing blogs list – but this one has some pretty neat-o caricatures, so well worth a scan!

Who are your yacht buyers? Interesting thoughts for difficult times, from the fun and friendly Steve Roesler (guest-posting on Drew McLellan’s blog). Oh, and if you missed it, some good stuff from Jason Falls on using social media for listening. Please, nobody tell Drew that while he’s been gone on vacation and having guests post, that THEY’re getting all the Five in the Morning traction…

Your Customer Really is King. From Inside-the-big-enterprise-company blogger Kelly Feller.

Dissing blogging – worth a thought-provoking read. However, this author has such a narrow view of the value of blogging (equating it with journalism), and such a lack of understanding of the connection-building power of blogging as a component of the various forms of social media, that I think it’s safe to say that he MISSES THE POINT. What think you? And, if dissing blogging isn’t enough for today, Valleywag disses Twitter (company and platform). Actually, some valid points are made here. We who are in the microblogging community have to be careful not to have an overly-inflated view of what we’re doing, and seek to avoid patting ourselves (and each other) on the back so much that we forget to add value to others…but here’s a brief business success story as counterbalance. And read about this upcoming series from fellow North Jersey blogger CB Whittemore, on bridging the New and the Old with Social Media.

FUN BONUS – Top 10 People to Unfollow on Twitter. From someone I’ve followed for a long time (and wouldn’t consider unfollowing unless he morphed into one of these clowns), Shannon Whitley.

And finally, a question for you readers. What are the blogs/sites you find most helpful, that perhaps would be Five-worthy? – and specifically, I’m thinking business/entrepreneur/inspirational sites that aren’t necessary known much inside our social media “bubble.” Would like to continue to expand our universe of worthy and helpful voices…(leave a comment with suggestions – thanks!)

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Five in the Morning 112008

Has your company’s social media cat meow’ed yet? The glass-half-full guy, Terry Starbucker, has some valuable thoughts on this.

Is There a Hierarchy in Social Media? (as in: where should you start?). Nice overview of the basics from Jeff Paro, over at Small Business Branding blog.

Seth Godin has a free download for you – the Tribes Q&A book.

Brian Clark over at Copyblogger talks about strategic collaboration. I include this because I think it is the most important emerging business model for talented entrepreneurs to tap into. Many new businesses, and business models, are waiting to happen…

Socially fatigued? Interesting thoughts (that we can all relate to!) from Karen Swim.

PLUS – Andy Nulman having a little fun priming the market for his upcoming “Pow! Right Between the Eyes!” book.

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Five in the Morning 111308

The headline is lying today. WAY too much good stuff this morning to restrict it to 5 posts. Enjoy!

Comments are not ads. A good reminder from Shannon Paul.

Jim Kukral goes live with his new business model and branding. Plus video launch.

C.C. Chapman‘s interesting take on the recent Pepsi new logo social media campaign.

The Catchup Lady on lessons from Mars Rover on Twitter.

Doug Karr asks – and attempts to answer – how many words per post is “right”? The answer(s) may surprise you.

Chris Wilson wants you tell him: Who was listening in 2008?

So you’ve decided to follow me on Twitter? My Twitter Full Disclosure.

What’s in your Marketing Arsenal? Which tools? Toys? Tell Jay Ehret!

Big Changes for Microsoft Livenow a social network! Plus, a great photo sharing service launched.

PLUS: 15 stunning images using blur. Yahoo testing new front page (and – new Yahoo Deals). A little fun from Todd And: PNG vs. JPG. One graphic tells all!

BONUS: Check out the new BusinessWeek on-line app, Business Exchange. I did a search on Social Media Marketing. Here are the results.

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My Twitter “Full Disclosure”

twitter-logoSo you’ve decided to follow me on Twitter. Thanks for tuning in, and I look forward to tweeting with you!

I cannot provide you with all the answers to life, nor can I make all your relationships better or even guarantee improved hair control. Here, however, is what you’re in for:

:: WYSIWYG. Hopefully you’ll like what you see, warts and all. If not, feel free to unfollow. I won’t be hurt.

:: If you’re interested in pharma/healthcare, social media, branding, marketing, humor, and life, well, I do that.

:: I point to stuff on my blog(s) when I publish. If I didn’t have something to say, I wouldn’t be here.

:: I point to a LOT of other people’s stuff. Most of them are smarter than me.

:: I don’t auto-follow. If/when I do follow you, there’s a good reason for it. I think you’re interesting, funny, smart, engaging, a value-add, or some combination thereof. There’s a much higher likelihood that I’ll follow you if you @me with something directly.

:: Sometimes I’ll tweet or blog about things personal, philosophical, even political. And post pictures. See WYSIWYG.

:: At various times I may get a bit snarky, make puns, and engage in banter. Especially on Fridays. I even do spoofs at times, with some assurance that the victims have a thick skin. My followers deal with it; or better, enjoy it, and join right in. You might also get a wine recommendation or two, including pictures.

:: I do this because I like it, it’s a fulfilling creative outlet, I enjoy writing and sharing, and I’m seeking to build an opportunity network. I hope you feel the same way. We’re all evolving this space together, and it’s a lot of fun!

Oh, and if you haven’t yet followed me on Twitter, here’s where you can remedy that! If you want to know about my various footprints and networks on the web, it’s all at SteveWoodruff.com.

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Five in the Morning 111208

More Twitter followers? Forget about it! Good tips from Lisa Hoffman.

50 ways to increase your blog subscribers. Wow – I need a 53-week year!! From Daniel Scocco.

David Meerman Scott on that pesky ROI-of-social-media question from the boss.

From those Duct Tape Marketing folks – a fine (free!) download. The beginner’s guide to Using Twitter for Business. Thanks, John Jantsch! Plus, here’s an article from ComputerWorld on tapping Twitter for business use.

Are you keeping up on the unfolding series of podcasts with Age of Conversation 2 authors? Here’s the spot to go for these meaty audio nuggets!

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Five in the Morning 110608

Income Security” – an interesting thought from Jason Alba (he of Jibber Jobber fame). What do you think? Oh, and part 2 is now up, with a bunch of good input from the clowd. (the virtual crowd, the cloud, get it? Never mind…)

You DO know about Mack Collier’s “Viral Garden Top 25 Marketing and Social Media Blogs” – right? If you don’t, go there NOW and find out where lots of the cool blog readers hang out.

Facebook, and Obama’s success. Some numbers shared by Louis Gray.

Into Logo design? The you probably want to check out LogoDesignLove. Just sayin’…

Interested in SMR (Social Media Releases)? Of course you are! And so is Todd Defren. So find out from him if they work

BONUS – Way to LIght up Your Booth. What was the most creative booth promotion I saw at Ad-Tech this week? You might be very surprised…

PLUS – Want an insanely complete start page portal? Check this beastie out!

HEY! Have you found – or written – a Five-worthy post? Feel free to suggest entries for the next day’s Five in the Morning (stevew at stickyfigure dot com) or DM me via Twitter (@swoodruff)

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Five in the Morning 103108

Drinking from the Twitter fire hydrant by using TweetDeck. Nice post from Beth Kanter. I’ve been a TweetDeck fan from its inception, and it keeps getting better.

Does your Tagline Create Clarity or Mystery? A helpful post by James Chartrand at Copyblogger. Make your headlines/taglines count!

Guy Kawasaki talks about the launch of his new book, Reality Check. What do I like most about Guy? His ability to laugh at himself. Read the book Foreword, which is in this post – F.U.N.N.Y!

Removing your “Perfect” Filter. Great thoughts from Mack Collier. I’ll bet you can relate…

Am I allowed to flog one of my own posts? Ah, why not…I did a guest post for Lewis Green’s blog this week, on Where Business Opportunities Hide. You’ll also get a glimpse of the thinking that led to my starting my own consulting company.

BONUS: A little Friday Fun: Famous Blogger Sucked into Second Life, Disappears.

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Famous Blogger sucked into Second Life, Disappears

It was a regular Thursday afternoon. The social media moguls at digital agency Crayon were about to start their weekly “Coffee with Crayon” meeting in Second Life. The avatars were just settling in on Crayonville Island, when the unthinkable happened.

Joseph Jaffe, Head Crayon, suddenly disappeared from his office. Irresistibly sucked into his computer, he appeared in what seemed like a flesh-and-blood personage in Second Life. Glancing around at the funky-looking avatars of his colleagues, he laughed gleefully and teleported off the island, and has not been seen since.

“We’re devastated,” said Greg Verdino, 40-something crayonista, enjoying his third breakfast in a now quite relaxed schedule. “One minute my avatar was insulting his avatar, and then the real Jaffe showed up on my computer screen, wildly leaping around Crayonville. He even spilled my half-caff double mocha unsweetened lo-cal Amandaccino. Disappearing, I get. But leave my morning fix alone!

“Given his penchant for not showing up for things, this whole thing was doubly surprising – if he hadn’t had on his famous “Joe Jaffe” nametag, I wouldn’t have believed it was really him!”

According to Jane Quigley, grandniece (twice removed) of Alexander Haig, who used to report to Greg Verdino, “I guess I’m in charge around here! Given the fact that we were a virtual agency, I don’t think any of our clients will really notice the difference anyway. Maybe once he’s done exploring all the other Second Life islands, he’ll get tired of his new digs, and come on back for Coffee with Crayon. But I’m still running the joint. We, umm, unplugged his computer.”

Joe’s family was understandably upset by the incident, but a life-sized cardboard cut-out of his avatar has been placed in the family room to remind them of his absence. In the meantime, a posse of bloggers has been assembled who plan to infiltrate Second Life and see if they can bring the rogue crayonista back. Their progress can be tracked on Twitter at @wheresJaffe. Faint iPhone signals were last detected at the Delta Airlines virtual terminal, so he may have hopped a flight on his favorite carrier for parts unknown.

All others are urged to keep an eye out for anyone wearing the tell-tale Joseph Jaffe nametag, and to alert appropriate authorities immediately – or Geoff Livingston, whichever comes first.

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Five in the Morning 103008

10 Branding brownie points, offered by Ed Roach (of the Brand Corral blog). Not high-tech stuff; just simple ways to add significant value.

Laura Ries, on How and When to Attack (in Marketing). With good/bad examples.

Small Business Trends introduces Jim Kukral as a (video expert) contributor. Here is his post on how and why a small business should use Twitter, including a screencast (Jim is good people, by the way. Be sure to follow him if you’re not already).

Why I blog. From Susan Murphy (SuzeMuse). I think Suze speaks for many of us.

Dan Schawbel interviewed at MSNBC website. Theme: social networking and business.

PLUS: Free Wi-Fi at locations nationwide for iPhone users? Sweeeet!

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Five in the Morning 102308

Great tips from David Meerman Scott on the one biggest mistake people make with Twitter.

Nike Just Does it Wrong, then tries to do it right. Brian Solis gives us the scoop on a marathon gone bad.

Want to know where ALL the social media stuff is? Guy Kawasaki links to the mother and father of all social media lists.

From Steve Rubelhow blogging has impacted the way journalists gather news. Fascinating.

Greg Verdino admits that he’s a loser. And a member of the equine family. Plus, this is the only time you’ll see him in a suit and tie…

PLUS – By a wide margin, my most popular StickyFigure post ever! TwACORN Busted for Massive on-line Fraud. Sheesh – maybe I should have just gone into comedy…

BONUS – Find Flickr pics by choosing color. VERY cool tool. Hat tip: Mario Sundar.

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Five in the Morning 102208

Jason Falls presents a very interesting case study about a holistic customer relationship approach (including social media tools) by a home builder. We need more like this!

What is LinkedIn good for? A LOT! Look at this list (with great links) assembled by Stephen Smith, from the SOBCON website!

From Aaron StroutTop Ten Lessons Learned using social media. Quick, simple, straightforward stuff here.

Showing Up – some good starting-up lessons about using social media from the personal branding guru, William Arruda.

High-Priced Hand-me-Downs. Some unknown long-tail blogger posted this one about luxury items that justify themselves as legacy inheritances.

PLUS – Whhhaattt? You’ve never visited Despair.com?? Surely you jest. Go there right now and laugh your head off!

BONUS Video – Beware the “Me Monster“! This 4.5 minute video by Brian Regan will Crack. You. Up.

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Five in the Morning 101708

Spike Jones asks – and answers – “When is it a Movement?” It starts with a passionate conversation. From the Brains on Fire blog.

What’s greater than sex? Scott Monty has the answer. Or so he says. I’m skeptical. (Good statistics here for your presentations…)

If you’re interested in the use of digital (and social media) approaches in pharma/life sciences, I did a series of live-blogged posts from the Digital Pharma conference this week on my Impactiviti blog. Go, scroll, and get 2 days worth of content in a few minutes! Also, you can see a number of tweets at twitter.com/swoodruff.

Ann Handley: When it’s time to turn off Twitter. Actually, there are lots of times. Like, say, ummmm, well…give me a few minutes to come up with it – oh! there’s another DM…

Why are the most memorable ads so far back in the past, asks Greg Verdino? Are we missing the mark?

Friday Bonus: The best Business Hours sign ever posted!

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Out Live-blogging

Wednesday and Thursday I’m live-blogging (and Twittering) the Digital Pharma conference in Princeton. We’re talking Social Media in the Pharma space – opportunities and challenges. You can follow (if you care about this stuff!) at my pharma blog Impactiviti. On Twitter, http://www.twitter.com/swoodruff.

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Five in the Morning 101408

Guy Kawasaki on the Top 10 Ways to Tell if Things are Really Bad (tongue-in-cheek).

Here’s a bunch of ways you can use Twitter that you never thought of. All of these add-ons! Who’da thunk there’s a “timer” for tweeting yourself a reminder?

The 15 Dumbest Names for Web Startups – and, some helpful links to good naming articles by bloggers. Nice collection by Robin Wauters.

My latest MarketingProfs Daily Fix post is up – are you building a safety net? Or an Opportunity Net(work)?

How Dan Heath (of Made to Stick fame) became a Gonzaga fan.

And, congratulations to blogger Shannon Paul on her new gig with the Detroit Red Wings!

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StickyFigure TWOday

Today, October 10th, marks the second anniversary of my first StickyFigure post (and although the writing is a bit jagged, perhaps, “How to Waste 100,00 Billboards” is still one of my favorites!)

I’d actually started blogging the previous July, for my solo pharma consulting business (Impactiviti), and that blog is alive and well and absolutely central to my paying job. Impactiviti is an example of using the power of networking to create an entrepreneurial business.

These ramblings on branding, marketing, social media, and whatever else strikes my fancy as an Idea Communicator end up at StickyFigure. This blog is actually an extra-curricular activity for me (as is a personal blog at SteveWoodruff.com which contains ruminations about family, politics, philosophy, life in general, and feeble efforts to get better at writing and telling stories).

I’ve met so many wonderful and supportive people through this blogging and twittering marketing community that I can’t imagine being on this journey without your virtual (and sometimes face-to-face) accompaniment. If I often feel like a rank amateur among you professionals, you’re not at fault in the least for that – you who have become readers/commenters/friends have always treated me with nothing but kindness and respect.

So, though we can’t blow out candles and lift up a good ale together today, know that I’d like to, and thanks for coming alongside over these 2 years. I love you guys.

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New “TwIndependent” Party Springs up Overnight

In a stunning move that has rocked the Presidential election season, a large group of disgruntled Twitter micro-bloggers has banded together and crowd-sourced a new political party in 24 hours, calling themselves the TwIndependents.

Sick of all the mud-slinging and shallow lies of both Republican and Democratic candidates, the TwIndependents, who have solved many of the world’s problems previously via social media, have hammered together a 140-character platform stressing free thought, universal understanding, and hearty beer.

Informed by late night DMs that they had been drafted as figureheads for the party, presidential candidate Gary Vaynerchuk and vice-presidential candidate Chris Brogan immediately hit the ground running with policy tweets and 12-second videos on such themes as economic recovery, the war in Iraq, Peruvian Pinot Noir, and mobile uploads.

“We’re bringing some partisan THUNDER!!” declared Gary Vee, underscoring his disdain for the current two-party system with a hearty spit into a NY Jets bucket. “The current candidates smell like a combination of old armpit and dried cowpies, along with a slightly grassy nose up-front and some Dr. Scholl’s foot powder on the mid-palate. It’s swill, baby! Me and Chris are going to take these oak monsters DOWN!!”

In a more measured tone, Mr. Brogan listed 14 reasons why the TwIndependent ticket was worth considering, along with 12 links to similar tickets in the past, and 5 counter-balancing principles to consider about voting for such a tech-heavy ticket. He also promised to provide more information at upcoming conferences where he is scheduled to speak, on October 10, 13th, 16th, 18th, 21st, 24th, 27th, and 3 webinars to be named later.

Given the heavy road schedule of both candidates leading up to the surprise announcement, Twitter conspiracy theorists were already speculating that this had been in the works for some time, and that both men had, in fact, been covertly campaigning all along. Newly-anointed TwIndependent party head Lucretia Pruitt denied that this was the case, stating that “all of this got started around my normal 3:30 am bedtime, and we had a full-fledged political movement launched by 8:00 am. That’s not even time to pal around with terrorists or drive kids to a hockey game, let alone anything else of a nefarious nature.”

The blogosphere was lit up with the suggestion that the next presidential debate occur via streaming video from Robert Scoble‘s phone, moderated by Leo LaPorte with responses limited to 140 characters or oncoming nausea, whichever comes first.

Other spoofs by Steve Woodruff:

Well-known Blogger Demoted to “Q-List”

Twitter Rockstar Half-Year Calendar…Tweeet!

…and, from the pharma-focused Impactiviti blog:

Doctors now to be Required to Consult with Patients

Cure for ADRD (Attention Deficit Relational Disorder) Announced!

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Five in the Morning 100208

From ProBlogger4 quick and easy ways to increase page views on your blog. Good, simple, solid tips everyone (novice to pro) can use. PLUS: if you like lists of bloggers who can be found on other social platforms, check this out!

A blogger (Beth Harte) changes her mind about using Twitter.

Read blogs to improve your blog. A couple quick paragraphs from David Brazeal.

Think you know how to search online? Gavin Heaton thought so too

I love great marketing ideas. And Free Shirt Friday is just that. Very creative! (hat tip: Douglas Karr)

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Five in the Morning 093008

50 Scientifically Proven Ways to be Persuasive – looks like an interesting book!

Launching your next venture using Social Media – 5 Lessons Learned. From ProBlogger.

Valeria Maltoni on why branding matters in a tough economy. “Branding in a tough economy matters – maybe because we are in the “touch economy” now. We need to see, experience, interact with, and feel before we buy. One of the most important aspects of differentiation and success is developing a voice with that online presence…”

Chris Brogan shares some “Best of…” to help your blogging. Good stuff!

Warning: Do not Drink Water. Why?

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