Five in the Morning 030509

Business Week asks: Who’s lining up to buy Twitter?

Be sure to catch up on John Moore‘s series, highlighting the 100 Best Business Books of all time.

Do you speak Snacklish? At least Mars Inc. is showing some creativity (my take: the best a brand can hope for is to create one or maybe two words that will truly stick long-term. Not a dialect!). Of course, I don’t think the effort to re-brand Google with M&Ms (GmmGLE) is going to succeed…

From Robin Broitman: How to Boost your Social Media Productivity – A Guide for Busy People. A great collection of links.

So, what about this whole issue of paying bloggers to post? Forrester weighs in.

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Forget Twitter Skittle…M&M does M&A on Google

It was just a warm-up act.

The blogosphere lit up this week when M&M Mars replaced the Skittles home page with a constantly-updated stream of “tweets” from the popular micro-blogging service, Twitter.

Social media experts – and there are many of them – were divided as to the effectiveness of the campaign, but all discussion can stop now, and the Skitter experiment was merely a diversion from the main show.

While everyone was distracted with the little Twitter feint, Mars was landing the Big Kahuna – Google.

“Ever since Google was launched, with all of those bright primary colors in their logo, we’ve been convinced that a combination of Google search and M&M sweetness was the right combo for our worldwide audience,” declared Ike Livingston, Personal Brand Ambassador for Mars. “As of today, the new co-branded service – GMMGLE – will roll off the tongues of billions of people, just as our candy melts in their mouths, not in their hands.”

gmmgleOver the next several weeks, the new GMMGLE home page will roll out, but a few select beta users have seen the colorful new results page, which includes a “Link Sweeeetness Rating” algorithm that awards “thumbs up” for particularly tasty web destinations.

gmmgle-page

Reaction to the new GMMGLE portal concept came swiftly. However, all the negative stuff disappeared immediately from the serach results, leaving only expressions of awe and excitement from members of the theobromine lobby and from fringe, vowel-hating bloggers in Balkan countries.

A spokesman for President Obama praised the move, saying,  “We’re all about sugar-daddy funding. We have mounds of cash, piled high as the Andes, and this newly-minted GMMGLE portal will be used by the government to find lots of pork futures, and to search out tax cheats. Umm, scratch that last bit about tax cheats…we’re already finding those all over the place around here.”

Other candy companies have also been bargain-hunting. Hershey’s was about to announce the first milk-chocolate powered “brown” car in a joint venture with struggling GM, but pulled out of the deal after federal regulators withheld bailout money, asking “What can Brown do for you?” Tootsie-Roll did become the Official Corporate Sponsor of the Federal Stimulus and Takeover plan, however, explaining, “Who has more experience rolling people than us?”

Meanwhile, Mr. Livingston confirmed that, due to anti-trust considerations, the rumored YAHMM portal is no longer being considered.

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All logos, images, trademarks, and names belong, of course, to their respective owners. This is a spoof. Which means it’s not actually real. It didn’t happen. Really.

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Prior StickyFigure spoofs

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