Kill the Buzz! Now!

I clicked on the headline link because it looked interesting.

Then my jaw dropped, 12 inches per paragraph, until I had to pick it up off the floor.

It couldn’t be. A PR gift! The most perfect press release illustrating Wordslaughter, 1st degree. The most astonishing pile-up of incomprehensible buzz-words and meaningless jargon ever assembled in one place! Surely it was a joke, a parody?

Nope. It’s for real – read it for yourself.

Here is a sample of the blizzard of words, phrases, mantras, and business pixie-dust concepts contained in this inspired document:

    …a framework for pharmaceutical companies to develop a new value proposition for sales into medical group practices…the approach positions a pharmaceutical component as the keystone to an entire ecosystem of businesses marketing to physicians…Commercial models are designed and in turn “optimized” to promotional response curves…commodity inputs…has reached its productivity frontier…Opportunity space for value innovation…intimacy of interactions in the business ecosystem…We are unique with a framework to help clients innovate, differentiate their strategies, and shape new ideas at a system level.

But wait…there’s more!

The website copy was written with the same attention to jargon detail. If you thought the above phrases are parody-worthy, just head on over to the on-line mothership and try to grasp the 30-second elevator speech. Or, better yet, try to grasp anything.

    The concept is a forward-thinking approach to synchronize action in a complex environment and build new knowledge to improve decision making. It looks at the whole of a marketing game with new planning, sense-making, and decision-making strategies.

Marketing and PR should not be done by philosophers and engineers. Because the end result is not promotion, but self-generated spoof!

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