Forget Twitter Skittle…M&M does M&A on Google

It was just a warm-up act.

The blogosphere lit up this week when M&M Mars replaced the Skittles home page with a constantly-updated stream of “tweets” from the popular micro-blogging service, Twitter.

Social media experts – and there are many of them – were divided as to the effectiveness of the campaign, but all discussion can stop now, and the Skitter experiment was merely a diversion from the main show.

While everyone was distracted with the little Twitter feint, Mars was landing the Big Kahuna – Google.

“Ever since Google was launched, with all of those bright primary colors in their logo, we’ve been convinced that a combination of Google search and M&M sweetness was the right combo for our worldwide audience,” declared Ike Livingston, Personal Brand Ambassador for Mars. “As of today, the new co-branded service – GMMGLE – will roll off the tongues of billions of people, just as our candy melts in their mouths, not in their hands.”

gmmgleOver the next several weeks, the new GMMGLE home page will roll out, but a few select beta users have seen the colorful new results page, which includes a “Link Sweeeetness Rating” algorithm that awards “thumbs up” for particularly tasty web destinations.

gmmgle-page

Reaction to the new GMMGLE portal concept came swiftly. However, all the negative stuff disappeared immediately from the serach results, leaving only expressions of awe and excitement from members of the theobromine lobby and from fringe, vowel-hating bloggers in Balkan countries.

A spokesman for President Obama praised the move, saying,  “We’re all about sugar-daddy funding. We have mounds of cash, piled high as the Andes, and this newly-minted GMMGLE portal will be used by the government to find lots of pork futures, and to search out tax cheats. Umm, scratch that last bit about tax cheats…we’re already finding those all over the place around here.”

Other candy companies have also been bargain-hunting. Hershey’s was about to announce the first milk-chocolate powered “brown” car in a joint venture with struggling GM, but pulled out of the deal after federal regulators withheld bailout money, asking “What can Brown do for you?” Tootsie-Roll did become the Official Corporate Sponsor of the Federal Stimulus and Takeover plan, however, explaining, “Who has more experience rolling people than us?”

Meanwhile, Mr. Livingston confirmed that, due to anti-trust considerations, the rumored YAHMM portal is no longer being considered.

———-

All logos, images, trademarks, and names belong, of course, to their respective owners. This is a spoof. Which means it’s not actually real. It didn’t happen. Really.

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25 “Hidden” Things in Facebook TOS

borg

It’s been all the rage this week. Facebook changed their Terms of Service/Terms of Use (TOS for short) to imply that they own, perpetually, anything and everything that you post on their site.

After much uproar, Facebook has relented and gone back to the “old” TOS. Or have they? Hidden in the new/old TOS, in white text on white background (so you wouldn’t see it – but you never read the black-on-white TOS beforehand anyway, did you??), are the 25 of Your Things that You Didn’t Know Facebook Now Owns.

    1. By logging into Facebook (or having logged in in the past and now even THINKing about logging in again), you relinquish possession of all of your belongings, including property, house, auto, HDTV, and suet birdfeeders. They now belong to Mark Zuckerberg. Thanks.

    2. Facebook now owns your first-born, if you have one, and if said first-born is well-behaved. Brats remain in your possession. If you have no first-born children, rodent pets or 4-wheeled ATVs will be accepted.

    3. You are now auto-enrolled in Facebook Live!, which gives us the right to install cameras in every room of your house and randomly upload photos of every daily activity. Our alpha-version auto-tagging feature will make a best guess at identifying you. Heh.

    4. All your blogs are belong to us. Except Scoble‘s. He’s too noisy.

    5. Your privacy settings on Facebook will auto-reset each day to random settings chosen by our MaxEmbarrass Algorithm Method. You may change them back if you wish, but by clicking “Apply” to your settings, you grant us unlimited rights to ignore whatever you chose.

    6. At our sole discretion, you may be downgraded to our “Facebook Lite” application (herein referred to as “Compuserve”) so as to keep you from taking for granted the privilege of being on Facebook Classic.

    7. You are now opted in to receive SPAM.

    8. All applications and widgets that you choose to use on Facebook are hereby entitled to publish your personal data and preferences on our new “SPAM-ME-NOW.com” sister site, soon to be launched.

    9. Spontaneous Human Combustion may occur while using Facebook. If this happens to you, we own your ashes.

    10. You may opt out of using Facebook at any time. But it won’t make any difference.

    11. If you have ever thought about uploading any pictures, links, words, thoughts, or other assets onto the Facebook platform, those items are all, in perpetuity, the exclusive property of Facebook. Thanks.

    12. If you have ever filled out or read a “25 Things” meme on Facebook, you are now an indentured servant of Facebook, and we reserve the right to sell you on eBay to the highest bidder, or, at our discretion, at a “Buy it Now!” price of our choosing.

    13. By using Facebook, you agree never to use Google again. All future searches will have to be through a 1998 version of AltaVista.

    14. If your profile on LinkedIn, MySpace, Friendster, eHarmony, or Pownce mentions your name, we may take possession of said profiles, and the services on which you have described yourself.

    15. You may not whine at any time, for any reason.

    16. Cheap boxed wines may not be imbibed by any Facebook users. Screwtop bottles are acceptable if imported from New Zealand or Iceland. Use of wine coolers will be grounds for immediate termination. You don’t want to know what that means.

    17. Your college loans, mortgages, credit card debts, Madoff investments, and auto companies are exempted from Facebook ownership. See “Bailout and TARP” provision.

    18. By using Facebook, you agree to lower your “carbon footprint” by 15% per year by skipping every sixth exhale.

    19. If you use Twitter, you agree to follow @swoodruff, except if you are a spammer, in which case you agree to self-immolate (see #9 above).

    20. You agree to pick up the mess after walking the dog.

    21. You agree that outmoded discussions of “privacy” will not be indulged, either on Facebook or in any lesser sphere of life, since we now own you. Just shut up and keep spilling your guts. Wait a minute, that’s self-contradictory. Ah, whatever, this is white-on-white and no-one’s going to ever see it anyway! Toy boat! Toy boat! You’re all dolts! Ha ha ha ha…

    22. Facebook, its representatives or agents, may, at any time, and for any reason, choose to extract one of your kidneys.

    23. If you are currently single and choose to marry, a 10% dowry to Facebook is expected. If you met your spouse via Facebook, that becomes 25% plus a $200 gift certificate to Ruth’s Chris made out to Mark Zuckerberg.

    24. (we’re going to fill this in later. But you’re agreeing to it.)

    25. Resistance is futile.

Thank us for allowing you to be used by Facebook.

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Prior StickyFigure spoofs

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ABC, ESPN Sue Each Other for “Inane Infringement”

The traditional media world erupted into an “intellectual property food fight” today as sports network ESPN sued ABC for apparent infringement of its trade secrets.

Allegedly, a low-level staffer in ABC Sports hacked into the ESPN “dumbotron” sports figure interview teleprompter and made off with ESPN’s proprietary inane-answer algorithm for providing idiotic and vacuous answers for sports stars to use.

“We started hearing ‘our’ answers being given by important sports figures like Eli Manning, Alex Rodriguez, and even Elizabeth Cuthbert” (2005 Division IV-B Women’s Squash champion), according to ESPN President George Bodenheimer. “In fact, just last week, (former coach) Mike Shanahan said his team was going to ‘take it one game at a time,’ and that the season for the Denver Broncos was ‘one game long at this point.’ That ‘one game’ thingie is ours, and so is the phrase, ‘our best offense is a great offense’ which ABC shamelessly ripped off in an interview with (former) Detroit Lions coach Rod Marinelli last week.”

Chris BermanIn retaliation, ABC Sports counter-sued ESPN, claiming that its pool of shallow and purposeless interview questions was compromised through a devious plot by Chris Berman. “As much as I respect Chris, I just know he fed his fellow professional sportscasters our secret bank of questions such as, ‘How do you feel about winning against your former team today?’ and ‘What was it like out there?’” fumed George Bodenheimer, head of ABC Sports. “When that ditzy blonde chick asked LeBron, ‘Is winning against an inferior/superior opponent like (blank) a great feeling?’ it was a dead giveaway that they’d ripped us off big time.”

ABC lawyer Sam Berkowitz summed up the determination of the network to vanquish its rival by stating, “It’s all or nothing out there right now. We’re going to sue our hearts out and leave it all on the docket. This is our time, this is our courthouse, and we’re going to win it in the trenches. It’s going to be a team effort, and we’re going to take it to the next level.”

Mr. Bodenheimer appeared momentarily stunned in an interview when he was informed that ABC actually owns ESPN, and that he heads up both networks. “Heck, it’s a game of endurance, you know, and the best network is always the one that knows its opponent well. How do I feel about suing myself, and taking down 2 head coaches in the crossfire? Well, we got outplayed and outcoached out there. We’re just going to come back and sue another network next week. And…hey, that teleprompter’s out! Ummm…er…ah…no further comment…”

(Previous StickyFigure spoofs)

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Social Media Museum has Bloggers all A-Twitter!

(Austin, TX) Today marks the opening of the long-awaited Social Media Museum (SoMeMe), a new mecca for worldwide networkers to come and gawk at really wOOty stuff that has fed into the historic Soc Med revolution.

conniereece1Curator Connie Reece, resplendent in a new pink-on-pink outfit financed by the Republican National Committee, cut a symbolic pink boa to mark the grand opening. Thousands of bloggers and tweeters attended virtually by watching a video stream from Jay Ehret‘s pate-mounted camera phone.

“This is a dream come true!” gushed Connie, fumbling with her smartphone to try to text message iJustine about the event. Matt Dickman quickly took over that task, with his patented “two-fisted Blackberry” technique, uploading a live HD podcast. “I can’t thank all the contributing bloggers enough, especially CB Whittemore, who picked out the carpet and cleaned the bathrooms, and Director Tom Clifford, who wore that cool beret, played 70′s rock tunes, and directed us while we did the work!”

“Wait ’til everyone sees what we’ve got here! In the Welcome Center, we have a continuous 45-second loop of Guy Kawasaki answering the question, ‘What is a blog?’, just the thing for nOObs stumbling in here with their postage stamps and FAX machines. Plus, we have a ‘Guess that blogger?’ Shel game for those who aren’t yet immersed in our superstar A-list rockstars.”

A continuous feed of Wine Library TV runs in the restrooms, with Gary Vaynerchuk bringing the thunder 24/7 to a captive audience. “And check this out over here!” Connie beamed. “It’s the Ike Pigott Personal Brand Exhibit, where visitors can assemble their own faux personal brand on-line and walk out with a keepsake avatar!”

soc-med-museumSpeaking of personal branding, the kids have not been neglected. In the Dan Schawbel Personal Branding nursery, young ones are schooled in the art of establishing their Generation-whatever brand right from the get-go, while toddler care in the Jibber-Jobber-Jr. room was designed by Jason Alba to help the little ones start planning their careers right away, complete with a complimentary on-line profile.

“And I’m so proud of ‘Shannon’s Slapshooters’, our special chick-blogger room featuring inspirational video-casts by Shannon Paul, Amanda Gravel, Beth Harte, Charissa Cowart, Lucretia Pruitt, and other luminaries of the fairer gender. We tried to get a wax statue of Arianna Huffington in here, but had to settle for the Ann Handley padded bench recliner.”

John Moore’s Brand Autopsy room promises to be a big draw, where John (and other guest bloggers) will dissect the branding and marketing efforts of various hapless organizations as a special hourly feature. In addition, Robert Scoble‘s upcoming trip to Mars to throw a blanket over the formerly-tweeting Phoenix explorer and mount a super-secret Nokia Nscoble camera phone on its robotic arm will be prominently featured, along with a 3-d hologram of the immortal Matt Bacak.

The Ancient History wing will feature such kewl exhibits as Jason Calcanis‘ blog, a life-sized Fail Whale, Mack Collier‘s modem (oh, wait – that’s contemporary), and a stuffed Pownce.

fail-whale-tshirtA final stop for visitors will be the Armano Blogger Wear and Hat shop, where the latest soc med fashions will be prominently displayed on life-sized avatars. A karaoke stage will also be set up in case the Catchup Lady ever visits.

For directions, just consult Douglas Karr‘s BrightKite posts.

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(Previous StickyFigure spoofs)

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Famous Blogger sucked into Second Life, Disappears

It was a regular Thursday afternoon. The social media moguls at digital agency Crayon were about to start their weekly “Coffee with Crayon” meeting in Second Life. The avatars were just settling in on Crayonville Island, when the unthinkable happened.

Joseph Jaffe, Head Crayon, suddenly disappeared from his office. Irresistibly sucked into his computer, he appeared in what seemed like a flesh-and-blood personage in Second Life. Glancing around at the funky-looking avatars of his colleagues, he laughed gleefully and teleported off the island, and has not been seen since.

“We’re devastated,” said Greg Verdino, 40-something crayonista, enjoying his third breakfast in a now quite relaxed schedule. “One minute my avatar was insulting his avatar, and then the real Jaffe showed up on my computer screen, wildly leaping around Crayonville. He even spilled my half-caff double mocha unsweetened lo-cal Amandaccino. Disappearing, I get. But leave my morning fix alone!

“Given his penchant for not showing up for things, this whole thing was doubly surprising – if he hadn’t had on his famous “Joe Jaffe” nametag, I wouldn’t have believed it was really him!”

According to Jane Quigley, grandniece (twice removed) of Alexander Haig, who used to report to Greg Verdino, “I guess I’m in charge around here! Given the fact that we were a virtual agency, I don’t think any of our clients will really notice the difference anyway. Maybe once he’s done exploring all the other Second Life islands, he’ll get tired of his new digs, and come on back for Coffee with Crayon. But I’m still running the joint. We, umm, unplugged his computer.”

Joe’s family was understandably upset by the incident, but a life-sized cardboard cut-out of his avatar has been placed in the family room to remind them of his absence. In the meantime, a posse of bloggers has been assembled who plan to infiltrate Second Life and see if they can bring the rogue crayonista back. Their progress can be tracked on Twitter at @wheresJaffe. Faint iPhone signals were last detected at the Delta Airlines virtual terminal, so he may have hopped a flight on his favorite carrier for parts unknown.

All others are urged to keep an eye out for anyone wearing the tell-tale Joseph Jaffe nametag, and to alert appropriate authorities immediately – or Geoff Livingston, whichever comes first.

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TwACORN Busted for Massive on-line Fraud

A-list Bloggers and Twitterers caught up in Widespread Scam

During what was expected to be a routine call to check on the report of an honest poll worker in the Richard Daley Memorial Electioneering Institute, Chicago police uncovered a massive on-line fraud operation that has shaken the blogging world to its core.

“We had gotten this anonymous call from a community organizer that there was an inside operative actually counting real votes and screening out fraudulent registrations,” said Sgt. Frank Mulcahey of the Chicago PD. “We can’t have that around here, as everyone knows…so after cracking down on that guy, we took a look in the basement and found this amazing underground operation hiding there, calling itself TwACORN.”

TwACORN turns out to be a secret organization whose sole purpose is to inflate the rankings of bloggers and Twitterers by generating fake subscriber numbers. Their technology infrastucture consists of slick programs they call RoboRSS, RoboComment, and RoboSub. With these tools, they have managed to play “kingmaker” to scores of unwitting digiterati, who were led to believe that they actually had an audience.

Chicagoland technology guru (and TwACORN victim) Todd Andrlik examined the programs and reported, with mixed admiration and dismay, that they were first-rate. “Here I thought I had all these engaged readers, who subscribed to my blog, read my tweets, and made interesting comments. Turns out that 90% of them were Robos from TwACORN. Now I see that a former high school friend, one second cousin, and some plumber in Nebraska are the only ones reading my stuff. Plus, my entire Top 3,000 blog ranking system with AdAge just got flushed!”

TwACORN Chief Obfuscating Officer Guy Yamaha explained from his jail cell; “We got our inspiration from MarketingProfs Daily Fix, actually. We thought – what could be more fun than to “fix” the numbers for all these self-absorbed bloggers? Just wait until Scoble finds out that only 14 people actually follow him – and three of those are in Iceland. Ha!”

Twitterers were scrambling to identify which of their subscribers were actually homeless folks, deceased, or Disney cartoon characters. The flood of confirmatory DMs was about to bring the system to its knees and launch a huge Fail Whale display, until it became clear that there were only 300 actual, breathing users of Twitter. Worldwide.

TwACORN was formed by pulling from the ranks of local community organizers, political activists, Robo-call tech folks, and Swiftboat veterans. “Look, all this blogging stuff is political anyway – we all know that. It’s a popularity contest, just like our national elections. So why not bring together the best minds from that field to help create a little chaos here?” declared Yamaha.

Meanwhile, a pall was cast over the glittering MarketingProfs Digital Mixer event in Scottsdale, when it was discovered that keynote speaker Arianna Huffington’s blogging property actually has only 33 readers. She was immediately pulled from the stage by Q-list blogger Ann Handley, and replaced by Tina Fey, who did a dead-on impersonation of Sarah Palin unsubscribing from the Huffington Post.

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Prior spoofs:

New TwIndependent party springs up overnight

Well-known Blogger Demoted to “Q-List”

Meaning of Life Unveiled!

Twitter Rockstar Half-Year Calendar…Tweeet!

(photo credit: David Alston)

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New “TwIndependent” Party Springs up Overnight

In a stunning move that has rocked the Presidential election season, a large group of disgruntled Twitter micro-bloggers has banded together and crowd-sourced a new political party in 24 hours, calling themselves the TwIndependents.

Sick of all the mud-slinging and shallow lies of both Republican and Democratic candidates, the TwIndependents, who have solved many of the world’s problems previously via social media, have hammered together a 140-character platform stressing free thought, universal understanding, and hearty beer.

Informed by late night DMs that they had been drafted as figureheads for the party, presidential candidate Gary Vaynerchuk and vice-presidential candidate Chris Brogan immediately hit the ground running with policy tweets and 12-second videos on such themes as economic recovery, the war in Iraq, Peruvian Pinot Noir, and mobile uploads.

“We’re bringing some partisan THUNDER!!” declared Gary Vee, underscoring his disdain for the current two-party system with a hearty spit into a NY Jets bucket. “The current candidates smell like a combination of old armpit and dried cowpies, along with a slightly grassy nose up-front and some Dr. Scholl’s foot powder on the mid-palate. It’s swill, baby! Me and Chris are going to take these oak monsters DOWN!!”

In a more measured tone, Mr. Brogan listed 14 reasons why the TwIndependent ticket was worth considering, along with 12 links to similar tickets in the past, and 5 counter-balancing principles to consider about voting for such a tech-heavy ticket. He also promised to provide more information at upcoming conferences where he is scheduled to speak, on October 10, 13th, 16th, 18th, 21st, 24th, 27th, and 3 webinars to be named later.

Given the heavy road schedule of both candidates leading up to the surprise announcement, Twitter conspiracy theorists were already speculating that this had been in the works for some time, and that both men had, in fact, been covertly campaigning all along. Newly-anointed TwIndependent party head Lucretia Pruitt denied that this was the case, stating that “all of this got started around my normal 3:30 am bedtime, and we had a full-fledged political movement launched by 8:00 am. That’s not even time to pal around with terrorists or drive kids to a hockey game, let alone anything else of a nefarious nature.”

The blogosphere was lit up with the suggestion that the next presidential debate occur via streaming video from Robert Scoble‘s phone, moderated by Leo LaPorte with responses limited to 140 characters or oncoming nausea, whichever comes first.

Other spoofs by Steve Woodruff:

Well-known Blogger Demoted to “Q-List”

Twitter Rockstar Half-Year Calendar…Tweeet!

…and, from the pharma-focused Impactiviti blog:

Doctors now to be Required to Consult with Patients

Cure for ADRD (Attention Deficit Relational Disorder) Announced!

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Meaning of Life Unveiled!

After experiencing his first-ever philosophical epiphany over the weekend, blogger Mack Collier decided to take on a challenge never accomplished by the world’s greatest thinkers – sketching out the meaning of life in one concise graphic.

“It suddenly came to me,” stated Collier, who was Plurking over dial-up in rural Alabama when the revelation hit him like a flood of tweets. “I saw the great secret, that which had eluded Socrates, Plato, Augustine, and Pacman Jones all these centuries. When you are suddenly aware of the unifying forces that bind together and explain all of reality, it’s positively awesome. Kind of like eating a bunch of White Castle sliders and washing them down with a mega-size Dr. Pepper.”

Click here to see the entire graphic.

Quickly, Mack abandoned his effort to update his constantly-unchanging Top 25 Marketing blogs and set about to draw, in one simple graphic that will be immediately understandable to all, the meaning of life. “I took my inspiration from top information designer Edward Tufte, and from David Armano, who had always made these neat-o graphics to explain tough concepts. I have always been a closet graphic designer, and I hope Armano won’t be too jealous when he sees how I’ve taken on a much bigger challenge that he ever attempted, and came up with a far more aesthetically pleasing production.”

Other bloggers were awestruck when Mack’s graphic exploded onto the blogosphere. “Oh man, I’ve been missing it…missing it all along!” moaned Greg Verdino, as he realized that his concentration on leveraging asynchronous micro-interactions to achieve scaled conversation was completely off-base and more than slightly geeky. “That thing with the Plurk mascot and arrow – now I get it. I really get it. I’m going to go be a lifeguard somewhere. My work here is done.”

According to Connie Reece, “The Mack” (the name rapidly attached to this seminal graphic) has had life-changing impact already on friends and neighbors. “I forwarded it to Susan Reynolds and she was so excited her peas melted. Then I shared it with Doug Meacham, and as soon as he saw that 13 o’clock thingie in parallel with the 3 Stooges, he knew. He just knew!”

Kevin Dugan, noted PR blogger, was in such awe that he was speechless. According to Kevin, ”           .” Of course, being on vacation, perhaps he is only concerned about such ultimate questions as what SPF sunscreen to slop onto his earlobes.

Collier has been humbled by the reception of his genius. “Heck, everyone knew I was a pretty smart blogger, after my first drawing of the Theory of Relativity, but now everyone will recognize that I’m just a regular ol’ blogger from Alabama. Who happens to be smarter than everyone else. Heh.”

UPDATE: “The Mack” already having a profound effect on child development – Think tank Collier and Collier today released remarkable results from the first clinical study using “The Mack” to influence intellectual development in infants. A volunteer group of bloggers pinned full-color copies of “The Mack” over the cribs of their newborns, while a control group used a printout of the home page of Guy Kawasaki’s Alltop. Within 2 weeks, the “Mackerels” were not only sleeping through the night, but 44% of them were using Blackberries to text food and clothing needs to caregivers. On the other hand, 81% of the “Kawasakis” were colicky and had to be “404′d” out of the study. All but one of the control group (that would be Emily Falls) were incapable of composing a 140-character tweet.

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Well-known Blogger Demoted to “Q List”

In a surprise move that has echoed across the blogging world, highly regarded Ann Handley (of Marketing Profs fame) was today demoted to the “Blogger Q List.”

“This is an outrage!” spewed Ann, fresh off a victorious B2B Summit that she hoped would finally elevate her to the “A List” along with other blogging luminaries. “I worked hard to move from Beta to Alpha, and to be relegated to “Q” status along with such long-tail bloggers as Steve (Stickyfigure) Woodruff and Charlie the Tuna is simply not acceptable!”

The mysterious Blogger Pecking Order Consortium (Blo-POC), which officially classifies bloggers into their respective ranked orbits, was cagey when asked about the demotion of Ann to the equivalent of blogging Siberia. “Look,” said the pseudonymous Seth Scoblecanis, spokesavatar for the group, “ever since she launched that annhandley.com thingie, with its tales of ancient slights and teenage angst, we’ve had to re-consider her semi-prominent place in the blogospheric echo chamber. We felt that a period of exile might be the best thing to help her shape up until she plurks more like, say, Mack Collier.”

“This will make quite a case study for my next monthly book, ‘Tangerine Spell-Checkers,’” stated Seth Godin, who analyzed Ann’s dilemma between bites of a meatball sundae. “It may lead to her subscriptions taking the dip, but small is the new big, and survival just isn’t enough. As long as she doesn’t self-promote, by offering a free prize inside or some other liar/marketer scheme, she should do fine. Maybe I’ll send her a bobble-head or a purple cow or something.”

Fellow A-lister Steve Rubel (Micropersuasion blog) had a similar reaction. “I was looking forward to Ann joining us on the A-list, and especially, of course, on FriendFeed. Not many Q-listers make it to my FriendFeed, but Ann will be an exception. I hope all my subscribers (on FriendFeed) will Twitter Ann’s plight and grab her FriendFeed.”

As of this writing, it is not certain what the “Q” in “Q List” stands for. Quiescent, Quack-ish, Quibbling, Quizno’sUmmUmmGood, and QuitNow have all been suggested. You may vote for your favorite using the QArmano widget on Facebook.

The demotion actually occurred yesterday, but was announced on Twitter, and therefore no-one knew about it until today, when that feature was enabled.

(Unhappy Ann Image credit)

UPDATE: After a blogstorm of protest, Ann has been re-instated to the B-list of marketing bloggers, with an “on-deck” status for the A-list in case Copyblogger or Problogger drop out. Ann also retains her membership on the Z-list, and, in Greece and at GE, she is on the “six-sigma” blogger list.

“Outstanding!” exclaimed Tim Jackson (Masi Guy) from a Medevac helicopter after tumbling off of a Big Wheels tricycle. “I give her one bionic thumb up, since that’s all I have left.”

(Happy Ann image credit)

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Twitter Rockstar Half-Year Calendars – Tweeet!

How can you better rejoice in the glittering elite of the budding Twitterati than by ordering your very own Twitter Rock Star Half-Year Calendar!

Yessir, it’s a fast-paced world! New Twitter stars have emerged over the past few months, meaning that the 2008 full-year edition of Twitter Rock Stars is already obsolete. Trashed! Now, you can get your July-Dec edition before some of the newest and coolest Twizzlers flame out into virtual oblivion.

We have them all here. @scobleizer. @tobydiva. And, of course, @garyvee (thundering us off in July!). With stunning photos taken by some of the best Twitterazzi out there, straight off their webcams.

Each day of every month, you get some of the top Tweets from this all-star lineup, such as:

“Brain a wasteland. I need coffee!”

“Good morning Twitters! Have a glorious day!”

“You gotta check this out! http://tinyurl.com/3k3635″

And, everyone’s favorite: “Stuck on the runway at LGA AGAIN! I need a JetBluectomy”

For the low, low price of $49.95, you can take advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity – plus, if you order now, you’ll also have a genuine, up-in-the-sky star named after you! Just call the number at the bottom of this blog post.

Call today!: http://tinyurl.com/3k3635

Bonus - if you tweet in your order using BrightKite coordinates, you’ll get a free one-day following from our November Rockstar!

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