Please Drop the Jargon
August 28, 2012 3 Comments
I came across one of those About pages on the website for a solutions provider that was unfamiliar to me. However, it sounded suspiciously like a hundred other About pages I’ve seen!
It was a jargon-load of biz-speak phraseology. Here are some samples:
________ was created … in early 2005 to build and deliver world-class online … solutions. We specialize in delivering highly customized solutions and insight for our clients by utilizing a consultative approach to fully understand their … needs, building processes to support those requirements, and consistently delivering to their exact specifications.
Our people are our most valuable resource (please don’t say this. Please. It’s so cliche…)
Our leading edge platform by which we create and deliver our solutions offers the ability for us to focus on highly customized solutions while creating a foundation for our partners to depend on.
The resulting value in combining (our) strong heritage, a strong core of professionals and an adaptable yet robust infrastructure gives our clients the assurance they need to continually depend on _______ for their critical business needs.
Now I’ll give them credit for not using “leverage” once on the entire page! But when a company name and specific offering can easily be swapped out with a hundred other company names and offerings, employing the same-old biz-jargon (world-class solution…customized solutions…leading edge platform…robust infrastructure, etc.), then any unique messaging is impossible. It’s lost in the fog.
It’s commodity language. This reference may date me a bit, but I’m tempted to publish a Mad Libs book for About pages. Just fill in the blanks to complete the pre-packaged phrases!
How about this instead:
While everyone else is looking, you’re finding. Call us.
Nobody wants your blah-blah – except maybe Dilbert. Customers want an answer. Simply put.
Does your message need to be simply put? Hire Steve Woodruff for Clarity Therapy!
Recent posts on Connection Agent: